Monthly Archives: December 2012

Shock Top – End of the World Midnight Wheat

Beer

From the website:

Shock Top End of the World Midnight Wheat is an unfiltered wheat ale brewed with midnight wheat, chocolate malt, chilies and other spices. This limited edition 6% ABV ale has a dark, rich color and delivers an indulgent flavor and sessionability, making it the perfect beer to celebrate the end of the world.

Food

We were snacking on orange scones while drinking this one.  Why?  Ana took the whole day off knowing that she was coming over to slave in the kitchen after forcing her mother into indentured servitude to make some and surprised us.

Look

Everyone was afraid the world was going to end before they could taste it so we never really got to look at it.  The color was nice, but the head disappeared almost immediately, as you can see in the image.

Smell

Vince:  Smells pretty good.

Ana:  Smells like a fruity Yuengling.

Ian:  Yep, smells like Yuengling.

Taste

Vince:  Tastes a little like pizza.

Donnie:  It tastes like it would be really good with pizza.

Alec:  Does anyone taste the chilies?

Ana:  No, I’m waiting for it, not getting any.

Vince:  I think I can taste it, that’s why I think it tastes like pizza a little bit.

Donnie:  It’s normal.

Ian:  It’s a good beer, I’d order it.

Donnie:  I wouldn’t order it, if it was given to me I’d drink it.

Alec:  You won’t order it because the world is going to end.

Ana:  Well yeah, if the world ends we’re only going to have this one.

Ian:  It’s buttery.

Donnie:  No, it’s not.

Josh:  It’s like margarine.

Vince:  It’s kind of heavy.

Donnie:  No, it’s not.

Vince:  Just kidding guys, it’s not heavy.

Alec:  I wish the chili taste was more prominent.

Ian:  I agree.

Donnie:  There’s a chili taste in here?

Ana:  There’s supposed to be.

Drinkability

Donnie:  I would rather have Yuengling.

Josh:  I’m really not liking this.

Donnie:  It’s fine, it’s not great.

Vince:  I don’t enjoy this.

Ana:  Not bad, but utterly unmemorable.

Alec:  I’m not unhappy, but I’m underwhelmed.

Donnie:  It’s a beer.

Ian:  Just a drinkable beer.

Ana:  Damned with faint praise.

Ian:  It’s like Bud Light, Bud Light with chocolate in it.

Josh:  I’d rather have a Bud Light.

Alec:  I’m gonna disagree with that one.

Final Thoughts

After five minutes of talk about cat buttholes…

Donnie:  It’s good, it’s fine, whatever.

Vince:  I don’t care if I never see this beer again.

Ian:  I don’t think it’s that bad, I think it’d be better on draft, pizza would be good with it.

Vince:  It’d be great on draft if it were like $1.95.

Ian:  It’s Bud Light, but brown.

Alec:  With weird flavors mixed into it, but just barely.

Josh:  It’s terrible.

Alec:  I could take it or leave it.

Josh:  I’m completely underwhelmed.

Left Hand Brewing – Milk Stout

Beer

From the website:

Milk sugar in your stout is like cream in your coffee. Dark and delicious, America’s great milk stout will change your perception about what a stout can be. Preconceived notions are the blinders on the road to enlightenment. Udderly delightful.

Food

No food, but we had two other beers earlier in the night.

Look

Ian: That head, look at it, it’s like Coke!

Josh: It is really weird-looking.

Vince: It looks just like a glass of Coke.

Ian: Look at that head!

Josh: I know I saw it.

Ian: You don’t understand!

Alec: It looks like espresso.

Smell

Ian: It smells good.

Josh: This smells incredible.

Ian: Have you ever had the Bold City coffee stout? That tastes amazing, and this, this smells better than that.

Alec: It smells like stale Guinness.

Josh: This is the first beer we’ve done, where I just want to keep smelling it.

Taste

Vince: This has a great taste to it.

Alec: It’s good.

Vince: This is probably one of my favorite stouts, right next to Yeti.

Donnie: I’ve never had Yeti, but this is really good.

Josh: It’s strange, it tastes so much like coffee.

Ian: This tastes great, this is great beer. I would order it over Guinness.

Alec: I would not.

Donnie: This would be incredible to drink over breakfast, not even kidding.

Drinkability

Josh: This is not as heavy as Guinness.

Vince: For people that don’t like stouts, this would be great. This doesn’t have that really strong bite to it.

Ian: I’d have another one after this.

Vince: Where does this beer take you? Where can you see yourself drinking this beer?

Ian: I see this like an afternoon beer, with a lunch.

Josh: This is a beer I could have in the morning.

Donnie: This is what I want tomorrow when I wake up, with steak and eggs.

Final Thoughts

Ian: It smells great, the color’s great.

Donnie: I would give this a 4.5.

Josh: Thank you!

Alec: I’d go 4, but that’s just because I like stouts.

Donnie: Are you not impressed only because you love Guinness so much?

Alec: No, I wouldn’t say that Guinness is a 5.

Vince: Would you say that Guinness is the best stout you’ve ever had?

Alec: I dunno about that either.

After they finished grilling Alec about his love affair with Guinness…

Vince: I can imagine having this on a cold winter night.

Ian: Is this better than a Guinness? I don’t know, but if they were next to each other, I would order this, because I could always get Guinness.

Josh: This has a more interesting taste.

Vince: This is enjoyable.

Donnie: If any beer needs to adorn a gold medal, it’s this beer.

Vince: 4.5

Donnie: 4.5

Ian: 4.5. I don’t know what’s going to get a 5, but this is as close as it’s going to get so far.

Josh: I’m going to say 4, because I don’t want Donnie to have to make half of whatever we decide on [for ratings].

Alec: I’m going with 4.

Vince: If nothing becomes 5, this will become my 5.

Donnie: Yeah.

Josh: Right now this leads the category in stout for me, period.

Donnie: Probably the best thing I could say is I’m sad I don’t have any more.

Josh: This is better beer.

We then decided to evenly split the last bottle because we all wanted more.

Rogue – Dead Guy Ale

Beer

From the website:

In the style of a German Maibock, using our proprietary Pacman ale yeast. Deep honey in color with a malty aroma and a rich hearty flavor.

Food

No food, but Donnie was smoking.

Look

Vince:  It’s got a good color.  Nice dark amber color.

Ian:  The color’s great.

Smell

Vince:  It’s got a hint of unicorn tears.

Ian:  I think it smells great.

Donnie:  I don’t know if the smell’s important, but it does smell good.

Josh:  Smell is what, 60 to 70 percent of taste?

Alec:  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Vince:  It’s good, it’s for sure good.  It’s got a great smell.

Ian:  It does, and it’s different from the others.

Taste

Alec:  This reminds me of the Toasted Lager, except the flavor hits you in the front, instead of the back.

Ian:  I’m gonna agree with that, it does.

Donnie:  I really like this.

Ian:  It’s good.

Donnie:  Cane sugar, that would be the sweetness that I taste.

Josh:  That’s caramel to me.

Vince:  It’s fruity.

Drinkability

Alec:  I don’t have a lot to say about this beer.

Ian:  I don’t either, I think it’s just a very drinkable beer.

Alec:  Yeah.

Ian:  I don’t think this is a beer that you order three in a row of.

Vince:  This is not my first round draft pick.  This is about a 3.5 for me.

Ian:  I think it’s a great beer.  It’s not a three in a row beer, it’s your first beer.  Now you’re buzzed and you order something else, not as strong.

Alec:  The thing I like about this beer is that it’s reliable.

Vince:  I dunno, it’s not my cup of tea, it’s good it’s just not something I would…

Alec:  It’s reliable.

Vince:  It’s forgettable.

Donnie:  I don’t think so.

Ian:  That’s harsh.

Donnie:  I would order this, if I saw this on a menu, I would order this.

Josh:  You would not order this, because it’s expensive.

Donnie:  Is it?

Final Thoughts

Vince:  Wait, I just took a good sip of this beer and…I like it.  I’ll give this beer a 4 now.

Donnie:  I’ll give this beer a 5.  It’s crisp, it has a lot of flavor, it’s bold.

Vince:  But it’s not overly bold.

Donnie:  It’s not heavy.

Alec:  And the flavor doesn’t hit you after you’ve swallowed it.

Donnie:  The flavor, from once it enters your orifice, until you swallow it is the same flavor.

Alec:  If you want to buy a beer, is this a good one to buy?  Yes, this is a good one to buy.

Ian:  It smells great, the color is really good, it’s not a multiple drink beer, but it’s a beer you sip, and it’s great.  It’s not a party beer.  I would give it a 4.  Is it the best beer?  No, but it’s a 4.

Blue Point – Toasted Lager

Beer

From the website:

Blue Point Brewing’s award-winning Toasted Lager is our flagship product. Copper in color this brew is made from six different malts including: English Pale, Crystal, Munich, Carapils, Wheat and Belgian Caravienna. Toasted Lager displays a balanced flavor of malt and hop which makes for easy drinking. Special lager yeast is used to produce that long lasting, smooth finish. The “toasted” part of the name refers to our direct-fire brew kettle’s hot flames that impart a toasted flavor to our most popular microbrew.

Food

No food tonight, we keep spending all our money on beer.

Look

Alec:  Generic beer.

Vince:  Pretty gold.  Good-looking beer, head went away very quickly.

Smell

Alec: Smells like every other beer.

Taste

Alec:  Good, not exciting.

Ian:  I think it’s warm.

Vince:  It is warm.

Alec:  It doesn’t taste cold, but it doesn’t feel warm.

Vince:  It tastes very generic.

Josh:  It was refrigerated at Total Wine, and again here.

Donnie:  It tastes better than PBR, it’s very good.

Vince:  It’s not very hoppy.

Ian:  It has this aftertaste…bite.

Vince:  I don’t like the aftertaste.

Donnie:  I do!

Ian:  Thank God you’re not doing the review!  It tastes terrible, I drink it and think, “This is disgusting.”

Vince:  I don’t want to drink any of this.

Ian:  The aftertaste is terrible.  Reading the packaging.  Complex flavors, but I don’t know what’s going on when I drink it.

Alec:  It tastes different.

Donnie:  I’d say it was flavorful.

Ian:  But what does it taste like?

Donnie: …..complex flavors.

Josh:  It tastes like terrible white bread.

Ian:  It’s like Wonder Bread.

Josh:  Actually it’s like Walmart bread.

Alec:  It’s not terrible.

Vince:  It has a cheap beer taste to it.

Drinkability

Donnie:  I wouldn’t pay more than three dollars for it in a restaurant, but it’s a good beer.

Alec:  I think it’s a fine beer, but I wouldn’t order another glass after the first one.

Ian:  I sip it, and it tastes like water, then I swallow and it’s like…acid.  It’s not a good beer.

Vince:  I wouldn’t order this again, I would be offended if someone bought this for me.

Ian:  Is it drinkable? NO!

Donnie:  I’m not saying I like it, but I don’t think it’s a bad beer.  I think it’s drinkable.

Ian:  You drink it, you don’t taste it, then you swallow, then it hits you, and it’s bad.

Josh:  I wouldn’t order this over Yuengling.

Donnie:  I would.

Ian:  You would order this over Yuengling?!  This is probably one of the worst beers I’ve ever had in my life.

Vince:  It’s not very drinkable.

Donnie:  I obviously found it very drinkable, I’d have more.

Final Thoughts

Alec:  It was ok.

Donnie:  I think it’s fine, that’s the best way to describe it.

Ian:  I’d rate this as one you should never try.

Alec:  It’s fine, nothing crazy to write home about, but I could drink it.

Donnie:  I’m with you.

Josh:  I’d say Ian’s going to give it a one, no one should ever drink it.  I’d give it a two, that it’s not going to kill you.

Alec:  Out of five I’d say three.

Vince:  I feel like this is a really ok rental car, it’s not a Kia, but it’s also not a Cadillac.

Alec:  This would probably be better with food, to get rid of the aftertaste.

Ian:  That might be true.

Donnie:  So let’s order a pizza and we’ll drink more.

Samuel Adams – Wee Heavy

Beer

From the website:

Samuel Adams Wee Heavy was inspired by both traditional Scotch ales and Scotch whiskies, for a combination of deep roasted flavor and earthy smoke character. Traditional Scottish ales vary in intensity with the strong ales known as Scotch Ale or “Wee Heavy”. To create our own version of the style we added peat smoked malt to bring the unique flavor of Scotland to this complex and satisfying brew.

Food

If we tried to eat anything while we drank this, we would throw up.

Look

Vince: Looks like diesel fuel, it’s so thick. Like pee with blood in it.

Smell

Vince: It’s like the liquor of beers. It smells like scotch.

Alec: It smells like I wanna throw up.

Josh: I’m smelling it, and I don’t want to taste it.

Vince: It’s like I just inhaled a forest fire. Ever smell a gas leak?

Taste

Alec: Not as bad as I remember.

Vince: Still pretty bad. I feel like it would be better hot, than it is cold.

Josh: It’s like soy sauce.

Vince: It’s that bitter, it’s as bitter as soy sauce. And it doesn’t go away.

Josh: It’s soy sauce with dirt.

Drinkability

Alec: I couldn’t imagine drinking this while eating anything.

Vince: Who in their right mind could possibly enjoy this?

Alec: Every time I take a sip of this it makes the back of my throat clench up, like it’s trying to reject any more from entering.

Final Thoughts

Alec: Is this beer?

Alec: It’s like drinking T-Gel shampoo.

Vince: No it’s more like Draino. Tequila makes me want to vomit, this makes me want to vomit a little bit more than that.

Josh: I just chugged it, I think it’s honestly better if you chug it.

Alec: If Scottish people drink this crap it must’ve been done on a dare.

Josh: This is what you give to your kids to punish them for drinking alcohol when they’re fourteen.

Vince: Liquor and beer had a baby, and it’s Satan.

Alec: I wanna throw up right now.

Josh: That beer was so bad that there was one bottle of it left for two weeks.

Alec: In an Irishman’s house.

Vince: That makes me feel like “21st birthday just took five shots” beer.

Note

We think, and really hope, that we got a bad batch of Wee Heavy. As you can see in our picture the beer is very flat immediately after it was poured. In other pictures online the beer always has a nice head. We have talked about trying this beer again but no one wants to pay for it since it may end up the same.

Update:  Sam Adams has issued us a refund.  We are going to try another brand of Wee Heavy first then maybe revisit this one.

Wexford Irish Style Cream Ale

Beer

From Total Wine:

This authentic Irish Ale dates back to 1810 from Co. Wexford. Brewed to an original family recipe using Irish malt and hops, Wexford has a smooth mellow creaminess from the widget in the can.

Food

No food left by this point.

Look

Vince: The most beautiful beer I’ve ever seen.

Josh: Looks amazing.

Alec: When I first poured it I was worried that it was all head, but it quickly settled down and looked perfect. It looked like a beer straight out of a publicity shot.

Smell

Alec: Butter.

Josh: Beautiful smell.

Alec: It smells like head but I don’t want to say that.

Taste

Alec: It’s like cream soda beer.

Vince: In a blind test I’d say this was Guinness but…better. A vanilla taste with a little bit of a smokey aftertaste. Hobbits would drink this. Or Paula Deen, this is Paula Deen’s beer!

Josh: Tastes fantastic.

Drinkability

Alec: I would probably throw up if I drank more than two of these, just from how dense it is. I feel like it was invented for Irish people who don’t like Guinness.

Vince: Smooth.

Final Thoughts

Alec: I still have half a glass left. I like it, it’s drinkable. Not something you could pound five in a row, but I would drink it again.

Josh: I feel like if I went out and this was on the menu, it would take me so long to decide if I wanted to drink this I would just order something else instead.

Alec: You could order this beer and keep nursing it for over 30 minutes and it would still look like a fresh pour.

Vince: One of the most good looking beers I’ve seen. Very drinkable, I could drink one or two of these, but I’d probably need to be carted home.

Alec: And not because you were drunk.

Josh: Because you were bloated.

Alec: Remember that scene in Willy Wonka where they’re in the room with the bubbles…

Sometime later…

Vince: Very easy to drink. It’s like when I go to Kilwin’s and get a Cake Batter Milkshake.

Alec: A Cake Batter Milkshake, fatty?

Lazy Magnolia – Southern Pecan

Beer

From the website:

Southern Pecan Nut Brown Ale is the first beer in the world, to our knowledge, made with whole roasted pecans. The pecans are used just like grain and provide a nutty characteristic and a delightful depth to the flavor profile. This beer is very lightly hopped to allow the malty, caramel, and nutty flavors shine through. The color is dark mahogany. Southern Pecan won a Bronze Medal in the 2006 World Beer Cup in the Specialty Beer category.

Food

Alec: No food with the beers tonight.

Vince: I stopped and got some Chik-fil-a on the way over but it didn’t last very long.

Josh: Nothing.

Look

Alec: Nice dark color, but it’s hard to photograph because the head disappears so quickly.

Vince: The color is probably the best part of this beer. The head didn’t last at all.

Josh: It has a nice color, but I’d rather take a picture of this with your child’s camera instead of a good one.

Smell

Alec: Inoffensive.

Vince: Smells like nothing at first, but later on it reminded me of syrup.

Josh: The smell reminds me of my beer glasses when I don’t rinse them out, and then I smell them the next morning.

Taste

Alec: Too smooth, pretty boring. If you weren’t told this was a beer made with pecans you wouldn’t be able to figure it out. You could probably tell someone this was a Yuengling and they’d believe you.

Vince: It’s pleasant but it wouldn’t rank in my top 100 beers. It’s actually pretty underwhelming. Tastes good with Chik-fil-a though.

Josh: I thought the color was nice, but the taste doesn’t match the color. I wouldn’t order this anywhere.

Drinkability

Alec: It’s drinkable, but I don’t know why you’d want to.

Vince: You could drink this with a model and she would be OK with this.

Josh: You could actually switch a girl from a cosmo to this and she wouldn’t mind.

Vince: It’s like background noise, like when you have a movie playing while you fall asleep, you could be watching anything, like Jersey Shore, it’s just noise.

Final Thoughts

Josh: I’m crying.

Vince: Passable.

Josh: Blank.

Alec: If someone gave this to me I’d drink it.

Vince: I wouldn’t waste $3 on it.

Cleo: Meow.